Nellisms & Life

I remember when you were born. The plans I laid out for you.

I remember when you were a small child and developed a hunger at a young age for my presence.

I remember as a adolescent to your teenage years. How you loved to worship me. You were the first one to arrive and the to leave. you wanted so badly to be used of me, prayed so hard and yearned for My spirit that you did not even know you were paving the road for your future.

I remember the dreams you used to have. the desires of your heart and I flooded your heart and mind and life with my presence. There was hardly a day that we did not talk, hardly a service that you didn’t get lost in my presence. The essence of me was in you. You were my vessel and I used you. Often.

Do you remember?

Now child, much time has passed, you have grown and I have withdrawn my presence from your life. Not to punish you, but to test you. To see if you love me as you say you do. To know if you in fact will serve me no matter what. Even though you have not sensed me I have been with you. I have watched your tears fall in the night. And I have heard your heart begging for me to touch you again. I have been there, yes. And through all of this you still love Me. You still cry out to me. I am your refuge and strength.

I have been there when you thought you were alone. Carried you when you were too weak to servive. I have never left you. Just as I told you I would. Remember?

Then when you thought it got to hard, you gave up. Child have you not learned yet to walk by faith? Don’t you know I will never put more on you than you are able to stand? You are stronger than you think.

I am the one who took the things most important to you. Your spark, zeal, health, life, your desire for things other than Me.  Only to see if you really would turn to Me. To see if I am your everything!!! And you have proved me right.

Now, child this desert you have been in is over. Please pick back up the desires I have placed in you. Pick back up the dreams that you thought were shattered, and the visions you thought were figments of your imaginations. I gave you those desires!! They are not dead. I am here and my presence is here to wash you, cover you, and anoint you yet again. The tears you have cried, I have kept them. The prayers you have prayed, I have stored them. Now I will pour them over you.  It will be as sweet to you as they were to me. A sweet smelling fragance.

I know you remember my presence.

Come now, fall back into my arms and let me hold you. Let me guide you. Let me infuse myself into your life. I have not given up on you and this valley has reached its end.  I am here.

Remember Me

I am your God.

Well, this coming Monday will mark Matthew and mines 2 year anniversary!!! Since our actual anniversary falls on Monday, Matthew has planned something for this weekend. Although he won’t tell me anything !!!! I’ve asked, begged, even baked brownies in hopes of getting some small clue of where we’re going and what we’re doing. But to no avail. I am very excited though, every one has told me that I will like what is planned.  Since I don’t know exactly what’s going on I’m not going to be able to write that much about that!!!

But I can tell you what a wonderful two years it has been. Sometimes I still can’t believe I am married!! Sometimes it doesn’t even feel real yet. And then others it feels like we have been together forever. In a good way! It’s kinda cute actually, we’ve started this new thing where we finish each others sentences!!! It’s actually kind of freaky but at the same time it’s nice to be so close to someone that he knows what I’m going to say before I even say it!!!

There are some things that I don’t particularly enjoy about the married life though….. The one highest up on my list would be THE EXTRA AMOUNT OF LAUNDRY THAT I HAVE TO DO !!! And you know what, its not even the washing that I don’t like… It’s the FOLDING and HANGING!!!! BLECK!!! But other than that ONE thing that I don’t like there’s really not that much else.  Hah. Finally finding your soulmate kinda makes all the laundry and the toothpast being at the wrong end of the tube ok!!!!!

When we first got married I didn’t know how to trust his choices and believe in him.  Know after only two years of marriage I have seen him make such good choices, that are to our benefit. I trust him with my life and one day with our childrens life. He truly is the leader of our home. I love going to sleep to the sound of Matthew praying in the other room and having the presence of God in our house. I love that when I have had a hard day, and things have gotten out of control, or I’m just down in the dumps I can walk into our house and feel peace. And I know that we both contribute to that but it’s soooo nice to have a good man that I can follow.

Matthew you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You balance me out. In more ways than you know!!!! Yes I can be a tad OCD, I know little things can aggravate me to no end but your calming demeanor soothes all those things out for me. I love that you laugh at some of my more blond moments, but never in a demeaning way….. I’m so glad that you love me just the way I am!!! It has been a wonderful two years and I am looking forward to many many more.

p.s. I will write more about what happens this weekend after it happens!!!

This is older song and some of you might know it. It has really been on my mind lately!! I’m looking for the soundtrack if anyone knows where I can find it! I used to have it and I OF COURSE lost it! I can’t remember all of the verses so I did not write them !!!

I still believe in the church I still believe in her word

I believe she can stand She’s upheld by his hand

You know she’s built on the Rock, and her work never stops

And the gates of hell shall not prevail, I still believe in the church

He said upon this rock I will build my church

I will give my life for what she is worth

She’s a priceless treasure I love her without measure

She stands for what I am on this earth !!!

I still believe in the church!

Tomorrow marks the four year anniversary here in Hollister! I cannot believe how quickly time has gone by. So much has happened!! I remember when we tried out for the church, at first I was not for it at all!!!! Then the second service I totally fell in love with the people. I remember I went out to eat with the young people and some of the adults after church and I remember feeling a little weird but they were SO wide open and hilarious!!! I am SO GLAD daddy took this church I can’t imagine being anywhere else!! At first I hung out with the young people a lot!! One of my first friends was Jessica who I miss SO MUCH! We went to youth ralleys, conferences, youth congress, west coast and a lot of other meeting together. However we always ended up going in the wrong direction!!! One year on our way to WestCoast which is in Fresno we got to talking and we were all the through SAN JOSE before we realized we were going NORTH!!!!!! And the same thing happened on the way home! We were like 20 minutes from Bakersfield before we realized we were going SOUTH!!!! We had so many adventures including meeting a VERY goodlooking guy at Youth Congress that GREATLY resembled Orlando Bloom! …. Anyways… very goodlooking …… =)

I also hung out with Matthew and Amanda a LOT! Never imagining that I would one day be married to him. He says he chased me for 2 years before I said yes, I”m not so sure thats how it happened!!! At first the timing wasn’t right and we obeyed our parents and did not talk or hang out for about a year. In that time Matthew made a vow to God that he would pray instead of pursue me. THAT is when I began to notice him. On my way home from work I would see his truck parked at the old church, and in the mornings and on saturdays. I was drawn to that so much, something in me began to change. We started to talk a little here and there …. I still went out with other guys but I would call Matthew and talk to him about my “dates” and things that I liked or didn’t like and he just listened and never spoke bad of anyone. THEN we went on a non date date !!! And he was so funny and cute and such a gentleman!!! We never ran out of things to talk about in fact I think we pretty much got kicked out of the restaurant!!! After that I was hooked!! We dated a WHOLE 3 weeks before he asked me to marry him!!!! <<<<In the middle of the proposal Amanda walked outside and saw what he was doing and said OOOOH NOOOO!!!! LOL!! We have grown to love eachother a lot since then!!! She’s the sister that I never had! Anyways continuing on>>> we had known eachother as friends long enough to know that this is who and what we wanted! It hasn’t all been easy or roses. I had to grow up a LOT!! Him too. But I have never stopped loving Matthew and I think I love him more now than I did the day we got married!! He was so kind to me during all my “illness” and surgery and the HORRIBLE side affects of the medicine I had to take!!! I sometimes still can’t believe I’m married sometimes!! It’s almost been 2 year!

Now that we are married our friends have changed. We hand out more with the married couples in the church than we do the young people! Its kinda weird! But I have always hung out with people older than me. Like Greg and Monya. I miss them! I do wish that God would send some new couples to the church that don’t have kids !! We will eventually have kids but NOT YET!!! I am quite content to just be us two right now. In the time that we have been married I have made some very good friends, some that have been totally unexpected! I can honestly say there is not one person in our church that I do not like!!! Every person in Hollister is dear to my heart. I have people that I can talk to, hang out with, eat with, have over to my house, call just to chat, pray with, have someone pray for me, EVERYTHING !!! And I’ve made many acquaintances and friends in this great CA district!!

A LOT has happened in the 4 years that we have been here. In Hollister yes I am the pastors daughter but I’m also my own person. In Hollister, I have truly become myself, found myself. I have found the place I want to be at until … forever. Unless God calls us elsewhere. I have found the love of my life. I will eventually have children that both sets of parents will spoil to no end. And hopefully the church will love too! I continue to grow and experience. To learn more about the wonderfully amazing God that we serve. I have TRULY found out that God will not put more on you than you can bear. That you will never go hungry, not have a roof over your head, have clothes to wear. God had provided for us so many times. In Hollister I have been broken, shattered to pieces, and then nurtured back to myself and been given even more than I was Spiritually and Physically. Hollister is my home. I love my church. I love what God has done. I miss the people that have left or backslid, and I rejoice for the new people that have come into our church. I cannot name every person that I love or hold dear to my heart. I can’t list everyones attributes and things that I love about you. I love everyone. You are all special to me and will continue to be as long as we are here. Thank you for accepting me!!! Laughing with me or at me, for helping me to become a better person, being there when I needed someone to talk to, praying for me, encouraging me, allowing me to sing to you, letting me be used to pray for you, receiving me, and letting me be ME!!! Happy FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY !!!!!

Well we just got home from campmeeting, I’m extremly tired so this post might be kind of all over the place!!!  But I haven’t written in SO long I wanted to write a little something.  Matthew and I went the whole week and I have to say I’m glad to be home but it as an absolute BLAST !!!!! I don’t even know what my favorite part was. I’m sure the next few posts will be about campmeeting and all that happened. The main reason we went was to help my mother with the hospitality tent. Which is a MUCH bigger job than I had originally thought it would be. We got there late Sunday night and began working early Monday morning. We BARELY got the tent set up in enough time for church and then at about 4 Sis. Allard asked if I could help praise sing that night! I was sweaty, dusty, grimy, and had to hurry very quickly to get dressed in enough time!  One thing that I prayed about before campmeeting was that Matthew and I could maybe meet some other married couples and get to know people. And we met a really neat couple!  I think they are a little bit older than us but we went out with them and I personally had a very good time. One thing I hate is not feeling like I can be myself around people and that was not the case at all.  I also reconnected with people that I had known before and got to know some of them a little bit better. I had the honor of being asked to praise sing at campmeeting. It was SO mUCH FUN!!! It was also a LOT of work. I know I”ve looked up there before at people and thought it looked so easy, and it is but it’s not. LOL I hope that made sense. I met a lot of people doing that too. Bro. Emory was the main song leader at the night services, and wow what an incredible man! A incredible voice and leader.  He was a fun song leader and made it enjoyable to be up there! You just have to be ready for anything!!  Another thing that I LOVED DOING  was serving the elders and great people of our district. One night Matthew and I got invited to eat and it was all good and fun. But I was sitting at a table with the great ladies of the California District and all I could think was WHAT IF I DROP FOOD ON MYSELF?!?!?!? LOL!!  I felt very much out of my league. However my dad has always said the sign of a great man or woman is that they are kind to everyone. No matter there status or age etc.. And they were. The next night I asked if I could go just to serve them. It truly is more blessed to give than to receive!!! I’ve never had SO much fun in my life! I was kinda worried I’d trip and spill coffee of someone though!!! I didn’t.  I believe to give honor where honor is due, and since I can’t grab the mike and do that or have a great speech to give this was the way I felt I could do that!!!!  Matthew joined the security team and made all kinds of new friends!! Then the services were just awesome the day speaker Bro. Davis from Georgia was SO AWESOME.  And of course Bro. Jones also. And the choirs that sang, yada yada yada ya…..  I’ll write more about all that later. Right now I believe i’m gonna go to bed!!!!

I know it been a while since I have written. I have been extremely busy and by the time I get home I just want to crash!!! This week is campmeeting and I am SO excited. Now for me campmeeting has not really been about church as it is to visit and be with friends. But since I’ve gotten married things are a little bit different!!! It’s really kind of weird me being from a pastors house and my husband being from a saints house!!! I see things through him that I NEVER would have even thought about and he sees a totally different side of campmeeting through me !! But I do draw the line at General Conference!!! When we actually can afford to go to another I am going to see my friends!!!! As much as I love the California District, I have to say I MISS THE TEXAS TABERNACLE!!!!  Air conditioning, no saw dust, no claritin or inhalers!!!  Enough said. One of these days when I’m rich I’m going to drag Matthew back to Texas for a campmeeting! Lufkin in all it’s glory! I don’t have much to write about now but I’ll give a update when I get home. I’m going to need a vacation from campmeeting. Matthew and I are going specifically to help my mother in the hospitality tent! Which is kind of funny because as a kid that is where I always was!!! Even though I wasn’t a preacher or on the platform or anything you were supposed to be to be in there!! T’neil, Brittany, and me were always getting kicked out or looked at really weird. We didn’t really cause too much trouble. And its too late for a walk down memory lane tonight ….

Good night